Helping myself out on my own and seeking professional help.
Before 2011 ended, one month to go to be exact, I did another stupid act that made me think of choosing what was mentioned above. I mean, it is a very personal issue to tackle it with a friend or someone whom I trust. Actually, I was really worried with myself and still asking what happened, what's happening and what will happen to me if I'll be able to choose one.
(I will mention what I've been through that week. But it was really an emotional, psychological and effing week for me. Forgot the dates 'cause it was really a heck of unfortunate events that I need to drop it off)
I visited my ninang, who is also a psychiatrist. I was on my own, 'cause I don't want my parents to know that I went to a professional instead of talking to them. I was having jitters as I walk through the hospital corridors and looking for someone to turn to.
As I entered the room, I saw nothing but piles of psychiatric books. I am afraid to dare myself to get one, but I ended up reading one. The book is about, well obviously, about disorders and unusual behavior and its causes. My eyes was nailed to one page and read the whole thing about it.
It is about SCHIZOPHRENIA.
As I was absorbing what I've read, my ninang came and asked me what pushed me to pay a visit, but since she is a psychiatrist and a stargazer of her own (Just joking! LOL), I think she already knew what made me ride a jeep, a bus and a tricycle from PUP-Sta. Mesa to North Fairview.
She let me speak and be calm at the same time. I told her the whole story and she gave me some advice on how to get over it and move on. Then eventually, she told me that I have symptoms of SCHIZOPHRENIA. She said, I need to seek for professional help and she'd be very willing to extend a hand, rest assured that no one in the family will know; but as per her words, she reiterates that finding a friend to talk to at times and can be a constant companion, is the best cure of all. She even said these lines, "Learning to trust that person maybe hard, but for you to help yourself, it is best to find that person and spill what's on your heart and mind." (OH C'MON! HAHAHA)
But seriously speaking, I am really torn between finding that person and seeking professional advice.
Do I sound LIKE I need help?
