A Letter for my Dearest One

Dearest One,

It’s been so long my dear, I’m sorry. I don’t know if I’m still the writer who captures men’s hearts, just like the old times. The pen that I used to hold whenever I write letters suddenly bid its dying note. It took me a long, long time to pull inspiration from the universe, but I’m actually asking for another pen, I never thought that it would be better than a ballpoint I wished all my life.


Why is it that whenever I find the time to put words and describe how handsome you are in my eyes, I can’t find any? At first, I pity myself. Maybe, I’m not an effective writer, and words just don’t want to follow my train of thoughts. I flipped the lexicon’s pages; tried asking experts to give me the idea, but their answers never satisfied me. I asked the Almighty, “I know, I’ve been too bad all my life. All these years, I never followed the Ten Commandments fully. And I don’t know how to pray correctly. Please forgive me if I ate my sister’s banana cake when she’s asleep. That’s stealing – I’m sorry. I hope you’ve forgiven me. Oh! Kindly help looking for the best word to describe him, please? Thank you.” I’m a sinner, but the Almighty is really kind. And He didn’t give the answer I’m looking for right away. He made me think and I thank Him for as time goes by, and I get to know you more, I found the answer.


I can’t find the word to best describe how enlightening it is when your luminescent eyes look my way – you make me insane. Much more, how great it is to see the corners of your eyes wrinkle whenever you laugh – you hypnotize me. And whenever you talk of how magnificent each simple thing is – you make me love the whole world more. I love these things about you, for it describes you. I love it when you fix your hair that wildly blown by the wind, and you curse yourself for not bringing the hair gel with you - you’re still handsome my love. I love it more when you mispronounce some complex words - you’re still the best speaker for me. I love how you try to stop your tears from flowing whenever you watch the late night show – you look good at it. And every time you feel ecstatic when you perfectly got a new step, whether a cultural or modern dance - you’re the cutest being in this world. It’s hard to describe how funny it is to listen to your old jokes and funny stories – they’re always funny despite the cobwebs growing in it.


I love seeing how my happy-go-lucky self transformed into a responsible one because of your pieces of advice. You opened my eyes to a sweet reality that life has something to unfold for us. That in ever bitter failure is a saccharine surprise at the end. You taught me to love the spiders, the caterpillars and even the ants. Your happy aura pulled me to join you and live every single moment this life happily. Whoever I am now, the reason is you. You changed me into someone I never thought existed. I never even knew that I’ve got a funny side too.


My love, this letter is not enough to express how lucky I am to have you. These words aren’t enough to tell you how abandoned I’ll be if one day you decided to leave me alone. I thank God for giving you to me, that instead of giving me another ballpoint pen – he gave me an inspiration to hold the pen again. He gave me the reason to believe that this world loves me too. My love, with you by my side, everything’s possible. Even reaching absolute zero would be very promising in my eyes. Maybe you’re wondering why I entitled “An Empty Love Letter” into this work of mine. That’s how I’d be without you in my life – an empty letter: meaningless, wordless, and worthless. Thank you love, I know I’ll have more and more days to live with you. I love you my dear. Always have that with you. Oh! I’d like to thank you for staying up too late last night just to ask me if I got home safe -- I felt that I am in the safest zone in the world because you want me to be on it. Though we are 31.5 kilometers away from each other, I can still see you dream with me and my dreams are nothing but the sweetest. Good morning my love! I’ll see you after we fix our respective lives so that we can build our own and we need to go to the grocery and buy some stuff for the rainy season. I don't want to go out, for I feel the joy and excitement when I lay my head to your arms and have a nice and deep sleep. Not thinking about what will happen tomorrow, because what matters to us is, NOW.



FROM:
The woman who’ll always be
head-over-heels in love
with you.

First Destination for 2013.

Last weekend was so far the best weekend for me since I started working. Those two days really made me feel blessed, liked, guided, loved and a whole lot more. Thanks to one of my most favorite person on Earth, Celine Bautista and my ever reliable ate, Ate Krishia Cornelio. Though I am sick the whole weekend, I still had the best by spending it with them.

And before I forgot, I am also with one of the most awesome person in the whole wide world. I mean, thank you, Mr. ******! XD

By the way, out of the blue, my friend Celine, just saw a deal on metrodeal.com. In that website, some companies or establishments offer some affordable deals, from small stuffs up to the biggest that one can ever imagine and a GREAT DEAL caught our attention, and that is a deal TRIP TO PALAWAN.

Hahaha! We really want to travel. Actually, we planned to go to Incheon, South Korea pero hindi natuloy kasi, after graduation, we're all busy with our respective jobs.

For those who don't know where on Earth is Palawan's location.

 

There you go! That is the location of our beloved paradise here in the country. :) And another FYI, this is where the new wonder of the world is situated, Puerto Princesa Underground River.

We are planning to visit this next year, preferably March 2013. In time for my 21st birthday! (Another debut!) But before we fly our asses off to that magnificent place, we have to save money for this and to our future plans. But as early as now, I wanna say,"SEE YOU PALAWAN!" ^_^





 

Images courtesy of Google.

Dear Career...

Let me tell you what I feel right now.

I never expected that I will feel this because I know in the first place, I am a bit secured about everything. Today, September 7 is my self-proclaimed day. Why? Because I have seen a lot of career opportunities on my way and all I have to do is take risks and grab them.

My uncle sent me an advertisement from his company with all its job offerings. He is working in telephone company for ages and I believe he has the power to help me land a decent job and of course, salary. I checked it and there you go, lots of job offerings in that group of companies (You might have the slightest idea what company I am referring to) and the nearest possible job for me is customer service representative. It happened to be my dream job while I was studying because it is on its highest peak that time and you'll earn a lot. But as time passes by, you know, dreams and plans change.

Another is, my dear friend way back in college (of course, until now) sent me an invitation to her company. An interview and examination invitation as a proofreader/editor. It is in line with my course. Yeah, English majors are really prone and exposed to proofreading ang editing stuff. It has been our life for 4 years. I like the job, because I can use what I learned from college. (Not the salary muna, I don't have any idea pa. Since this friend of mine and I don't talk about our salaries, really. Right teh?)

This entry is not meant to boast anything or who I am. I am actually nothing compared to other people and I am just a typical fresh graduate who went out of the university and graduated without any concrete plans of what I am going to do with my life.

My problem now is that, I already have a job. I've been here for 5 months and now on probation. So far, I am enjoying my job, because this is my second pick on jobs. Being an online English teacher. (My first one's too good to be just my dream.) My concept of job is not on the salary, REALLY. Maybe that's one point but I am not after with the salary. I believe that as long as you're happy with what you are doing, you'll succeed. But you must accept that it is not instant success. You have strive harder each day for you to attain what you really want and then money comes afterwards.

As of this moment, my mind's really messed up if I am going to do full time on that group of companies of I'd go part time on my friend's company. And when I made up my decision, I don't want to disappoint anyone because of my decisions. Like, you see, I can't handle stray bullets which are meant for me.

Maybe sometimes, all you have to do is to decide and take risks. Because you can't have it all... Rolling in the deep... (Just kidding!) Seriously, you can't have it all. You should've opted to commit suicide if you want to have all those jobs. Hahaha! 

I think, I have two things to do before I decide. First, think and second, of course, pray. :)

Do you feel any PRESSURE right now?

Have you ever had that feeling that the world is on your shoulders and you have nothing to do but to bring it everyday?

As a 20 year old young lady, yes, I do feel that feeling.

It feels like, everybody's fond of pressuring someone most especially if they don't know what you've been through. May mga tao talaga sigurong hobby yung ganun. Yung magbigay ng pressure.

Since I started working last April, (that's a month before I march for my degree) people around me has been doing this scumbag hobby. They want you to do things according to their will. Yeah, I do understand that it is for my own sake and they know what's the best choice in life since they are a lot older than I am. But one thing I don't like about this, is that, being concern is already below the belt. I don't feel the concern anymore. I can feel is the pagiging pakielamera about simple and complex stuff in my life. Like handling money, giving certain people in my life and even the clothes I wear. They want my life to be like theirs, which is according to them, "CLOSE TO PERFECTION".

Sometimes, my parents also do this. They want me to transfer another company because they want me to earn more and save money for me to pursue my graduate studies. Yes, I want to earn more because I am beginning to feel the needs of a working girl, but they can't see my point that everyone must start from the bottom. And those are collectively known as humble beginnings. I know, graduate studies really costs a lot of money, but I think they don't understand my point that I NEED MORE CONFIDENCE to face another chapter in my academic life.

They keep on saying it every time I go home in Laguna. You know, to rest and to sleep even for just 2 days. But it goes the other way around. They've been goofing around me that, I SHOULD GET A NEW JOB and I WON'T BE GETTING ANY FROM WHAT I'VE DOING FOR THE PAST 5 months.

I mean, I am a fresh graduate. I don't want to be bummer at home and I don't think it will be helpful for me and my stressful job that I hear people around me and goofing these things in my head. I wonder, what are they doing way back when they were still 20 and struggling to get a career and a high paid job? What do they feel and do their parents and other people around them do these to them? Like, are you just saying this because you care or you want to manipulate my life?

I don't mean to be rude or to be a scumbag daughter and citizen. I just want to release all these, because I have no one to talk to and I don't think they will understand. Wiw.

A Ballooney Patootey

Aside from my screwed-up sleeping schedule, another thing that keeps me worrying is me gaining weight. Argh! Before I checked my weight earlier this morning, I got the chance to see and check my weight last April (last week of April to be specific) and by that time, I am weighing 60 lbs. It's not normal for a twenty year old gal, but that's my maintaning weight since I entered Senior year, way back when I was in college and plans to lose some pa bit by bit.

But when I got "the opportunity" to check my current weight, I was like, SURPRISED and a bit PISSED. Since May 2012 up to this moment, I gained 10 LBS.! For 4 months, I gained 10 POUNDS. (If you want to convert to kilograms, divide it by 2 then viola! There's the answer for you pal. I am weighing 31, in kilograms) T____T and this is alarming, really.

I really want to cry, not because I don't love myself or my body. But my point is, it is not good to the eyes if you're fat and another thing, a lot of friends told me na "Sam, tumataba ka na naman!". I was like, staying away from all the temptations of food and everything, because I really want to lose weight.

While on my way to work, I had this epiphany that I've been doing a lot of bad habits that caused me to be in those numbers. I won't be proud to present to you...

SAM's BAD HABITS.

1. MY F*CKED UP SLEEPING HABITS. I used to log out from work at 11PM. If you're expecting me to be the sleeping pal by 12:30AM, you are definitely wrong. I will still be your friend at 12:30AM onwards. I usually sleep at 4AM then wakes up at 10-11:30AM. That makes me eat more because I wasn't able to have my breakfast and have the tendency to eat more at lunch time and munch more in merienda time.

2. NO EXERCISE. AT ALL. I no longer jog in the morning, I don't dance na that lot compared to what I've been doing in the 1st quarter of the year, I don't go out a lot, etc. I feel like I am always tired and stuff. Yes, I still do dance. But the pa-cute dance na lang. I miss playing volleyball as well. :(

3. IRREGULAR BOWEL MOVEMENT. I do "the thing" only twice a week. :( If not for the help of herbal teas, I won't be able to visit our bowl every now and then. I've been like this for years now. My mom is always worrying and now that I am 20 years old, she still checks me doing the thing because if not, it might cause colon cancer.

4. I DON'T DRINK WATER THAT MUCH. I am more of a tea person. I find water soooo boring! So plain and not that exciting compared to what tea and other juices offer me and my urine's a bit yellowish that adds alarm to my parents as well.

5. I DON'T EAT VEGETABLES. For me, those green things are like monsters. They should not be disturbed or else, they'll eat you. I only eat 3 vegetables. (And according to articles, these are not considered as vegetables, really. They are half-half. Half-veggie, half-fruit)

6. I DON'T APPRECIATE FRUITS THAT MUCH. I am not a fruity person. I don't eat them unless mandated.

Well, those are some of my allegations on why I am gaining weight again. For you who reads this, take care of yourself or else, you'll become more of a ballooney patootey!

Love your body and maintain a balance yet healthy diet. I got to say HI again to Biguerlai and Kankunis. :(

The person I like and why I like him.

Oh well, I saw this in Joana Beatrice Jance’s tumblr site and I got the “GUTS” to have another blog entry about this person that I LIKEY. :)

You, as my tumblr follower, if you really care about what I blog these past few months or if you really know me, you might have the slightest idea who is the boy that I LIKEY. Well, without much further ado, his name is MELVIN MINA. (Just add “JOHN” before the MELVIN, because he likes it.)

He is 20 years of age and lives in a nearby province somewhere in the North. He is 5’3” in height and just like me, a graduate of Bachelor of Arts, Major in English Language, of course, from the same university, Polytechnic University of the Philippines. Born under the sign of Aquarius and of course, the only G. The only gentleman that I know.

A lot of people, even his classmates says that, he is too odd, too different, not your ordinary or typical boy to know. He’s not that athletic and does not know how to play any musical instrument. Well, I say, that’s it. The reason why I like him is that, he is different. From his points of view to the way he speaks his mind. That’s true, he is not-your-typical-boy-friend-to-talk-about-girls-and-stuff.

Oh c’mon, who does not want to be liked by or to like an odd boy anyway? They are people who are hard to please, but then, they have the small percentage to like you and befriends with you.

”..I hate it when you’re not around and the fact that you didn’t call. But most of all, I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even little, not even close, not even at all.”

For you to end those freakish questions in mind, I would let you know what keeps me liking this boy until now from the very moment we had our first eye-to-eye.

————————————————————————————————————-

Well folks, this, I present to you…

TOP 15 REASONS ON WHY I LIKE THE ODD BOY FROM SOMEWHERE IN THE NORTH.

** insert a Taylor Swift song here. Oh hmm, try the song, “Superman”, aside from the lines, “… Tall, dark and superman…” **
Leggo first to the physique.

1. The ABS and BICEPS. @_@ Imma good girl but when I see him topless or no shirt, I can’t help but to stare longer, then comes back to reality when a friend taps me at the back. Yeah, he is really into something like, body-building. But I don’t want him to be the big guys on TV who lift tons of metals. I just like the way he is NOW.

2. The HEIGHT. When I like a boy, I am not really into the height. Or how high am I gonna put my head up just to stare at him. He is 5’3” and I’m 5’2”. Close enough. I can still reach his forehead when I wipe his sweat.

3. HUMAN WATERFALLS. Yeah, he sweat a lot. I dunno if there is a problem with his skin or what. But one thing I like when he sweats a lot, is that fact that he maintains his good personal hygiene. He does not let sweat interfere with his looks.

4. THE SMELL. Every girl tends to fall in love or to like a guy who smells so good. He does not smell like food or grilled liempo, he smells like a boy-next-door type of man whose sweat contains chemicals that maintains his good smell. :3

5. The PORMA. He wears comfy shirts and over-designed shorts, but it looks good on him. We have a terno polo shirt pa nga. He wears black and gray stripes, while mine is pink and purple. One time, we wore the same polo short unintentionally. (I think, that is our “Manners Matter” Seminar last March.

But he looks hotter when he wears just plain white sando. (Go and read no. 1 again)

———————————————————————-

Nuff of the physical aspect. Let’s now go to the real thaaaang. (Wait, whut?!)

6. The acting skills. Yes, he knows how to act. He played several characters in different stage and class room presentations. My favorite is when he played Oberon’s assistant, Puck in a Shakespearean comedy. He did that for 2 times and I can’t help but to stare at him as he amazes the audience with his talent.

7. He knows the right words to say. Whether he is pissed or happy. He knows how to say these, of course, at the right time as well. He knew the right and the bad words.

8. He is too shy. He is and I think, he will always be. I never knew that he can’t make an order on a famous fast food chain. When we had our first date, I told him to order anything that he wants, but I ended up buying the food for the both of us and the cashier’s was like LOL-ing because we are arguing on what to eat.

9. He knows how to SAY SORRY. I mean, SORRY with much sincerity. You can feel it and he will make it up to you as promised. That will be time that you’ll say, “Ahwwwww! Bati na nga tayo G. <3”

10. He is really sweet. Yes, he is. He can do it in ways that you don’t really expect. Like, making you feel blessed and happy with just a thought or two. One thing I like about him is that, he knows the right time to be sweet. Siya ang aking tagapaypay sa lahat ng oras pag mainit lalo na nung ayusan ng graduation papers :)

11. He is into surprises. When I saw my letter for him placed in his Ati-Atihan headdress while doing the show, I was like, super happy! With that, he showed me that he really wants to keep the letter though it is just a short note, and of course, me :)

12. Matured way of thinking. Well, he also acts in a matured way. I know some will say, it is just “PAKITANG TAO.” This, I tell you, it is not. He is the kind of person who uses his mind and heart when making decisions. He is really a grown up man who stands by his beliefs and initial decisions on things.

13. We have the same likes, dislikes, interests and habits. We like slow rock, horror type of movies, American TV shows, food to eat, things to say, favorite subject, same dream course, same missions and same dream job. We want to be published writers, but sad to say, our university, ran out of slots, so we opted a much better course, and that is our degree. AB English.

14. Kinda weird and different view on LOVE and DATING. It is rare for me to hear a guy to say something like, “I want a relationship that will last for a lifetime.”, “Gusto ko yung first girlfriend ko, siya na yung last”, “Ayoko mag-teacher kasi baka di ako mag-asawa sa oras.”. Things like that. Well, he did. He told me those things. He even tried his best to convince me not to apply for a teaching job in a classroom set-up, I may end up an old maid daw. Hahaha! Well, I listened to him and had my job now, an ONLINE ENGLISH TEACHER. And according to him, this is acceptable. :)

15. He is really a gentleman. Before I knew this aforementioned reasons on why I like him, this is the only thing I knew about him. He is really good man and I think in the near future, he will be a good family provider for he is very responsible and does his tasks and responsibilities.

———————————————————————————————————-

These are the reasons on why I like Mr. Melvin Mina and why he is my only G. :)

He is such an angel — sometimes.

And there you go, I missed blogging.

Hello there, to whatever-your-name-is. Thank you so much for visiting my not-so-updated-blog. I can't even remember when was the last time I blogged about anything.

By the way, by the time that I've been doing this, I already graduated from school. (HEP HEP HOORAY!)
Today is August 14, so I guess, I am already an alumna for 3 months and 3 days now. Wow, both are threes! XD Sounds non-sensical. And now, I am enjoying my work as an online English teacher for Korean kids and adults. Well, I am really enjoying the work except for the fact that I find it hard to wake up in the morning to do some important stuff. But then, I think, I should get used to it.

Been into 2 get togethers with my life's magic. My brothers and sisters from different men and women, my TRIDEE family. Yeah, we already celebrated Ma'ama Dess' graduation from her doctoral degree and my brother Romar's debut or 21st birthday. Yeah, we are not complete, but I had great time though. Well, I am always having a great time with my kapatids and they are really stress relievers. XD

Right now, I am in our office and waiting for 2130KT or 8:30PM here in Manila for my last class. Hehehehe. So hard-headed of mine to blog while waiting. XD

So yeah, just like any other blog, I'm gonna update you on what's hot and what's not.

Let's have the NOT portion first.

• My friend, Celine and I are NOT YET CLAIMING our NBI clearances. Those were scheduled to be claimed July 11. Hahaha!Yeah, it's now August but we haven't seen our colorless faces in our document. I am planning to get it tomorrow since I don't have work. Because it's a Korean holiday.
• We are not yet applying for SSS ID that will be claimed after a year. Hahahaha! So lazy. No time and no strength to wake up in the morning.
• I still don't have my postal ID. I don't think it's necessary.
• Not yet a registered voter. (So as Celine, I guess.) We are masters of our own documents.
• A freaking Habagat (Monsoon rain and wind) struck the Metro with non-stop raining and rapid flooding. For that, Maggie and I were stranded for 2 straight working days. Letting the two of us sleep in the middle of Manila, Cubao. Wiw.
• I still don't have enough money to go back to school. POOR! How am I supposed to go back to school if I don't have time to enroll for a masteral degree in Ateneo?
• Not yet registered as a Filipino Taxpayer. Again, NO TIME.
• Haven't found the love of my life. (Do I need that? The hell.)
• The internet connection at home sucks. It's broken.
• I lost my "BEST" friend. Unexpectedly, I don't have any regrets, really. Sometimes, you really get tired of understanding and you no longer have the capacity to be there, ALWAYS.

And now, for the HOT part.

• I got my new baby! My brand new, Samsung Galaxy Young S5360. Hahaha! Now you know, where the hell my savings been gone to.
• RamRam the lappy just got his own medication. A reformat. XD
• I am now a full time online teacher. For those who didn't know, I started as a part-time employee. So after they gave me the night schedule, I am happy as hell.
• I got my Transcript of Records, but not yet the diploma. It will be released after a year that a student graduated. (The not part of it is that, my f*cking 5 is still recorded)
• Registered PhilHealth member already! YEHEY! XD
• Got addicted to 7-11's French Vanilla Cappucino. SO YUMMY! New addiction.
• I got the opportunity to share my experiences in my current work with the Junior years in CLL. So glad, that I've been a great help though not so fulfilled yet. (Thank you Sir Rolly!)
• I am now earning money to somehow support the family.
• My lovable C3 is still alive.
• Mr. G  <3 is still alive. (OH C'MON!)
• Been addicted to 9GAG these past few months.
• Been addicted to Instagram, too. (If you have Instagram account, follow me at sabsena)
• Planning to have a gala with my GROUP-mates, but there's still no final plans. I guess, we just have to do it on the holiday season. LOL)
• Met NEW friends and buddies at work.
• Appreciated late night animation. (EG. The Family Guy, The Cleveland Show and American Dad! SO FUNNY. LOL)
• Knew that there are still a few good people to get help and support from.
• Been infatuated but revived like a boss!
• No lovelife, but still, happy with friends and family.
• But eyeing for a friend! HAHAHAHA. I've been sounding like a bitch.

Oh well, a lot of things really happen after you graduate from school. That's part of life though and sticking to your original plan is a not-so-good move to make things better. Ohw! How come I made it to that point. Well, just updating this blog and its readers if it has any. Hahaha!

Will update more often now... since I have all the time in the world. XD

XOXO,
Sam ^_^