Lessons of 2010

The whole world was about to welcome another year in 3 days. Another year to make things happen. Another year to make things right. Another year to reconcile. Another year to mess things up. LOL.

But before I say goodbye to the year that made my life a little bit of a trash. Let me show you how my year 2010 treated me like a baby, a 5-year old kid, an office girl, a frustrated noontime show host and a crying teenage girl over some heart-tearing scene in a certain movie.



Let me show you the little lessons that this year has taught me.



I turned 18. Of legal age.

I became a Vice-President for External Affairs. A very challenging work.

I've been a Technical Head for a play and two programs.

I was considered as a choice for a certain leadership summit. And still praying that I will be chosen.

I learned how to speak French.

How to make a poem, an essay, a short story with much sense.

Knew how to rock the road by going to far-off places.

Knew how electricity works in a power plant.

I made it to the North-eastern tip of the Philippines.

Saw a jelly fish die.

Sat in car for 5 long hours and wished that the car must fly.

Been bored for 10 long months, hoping and waiting for nothing.

Been busy for 4 straight months.

Been so tensed for two consecutive nights just to ask a wonderful person to watch a movie with me.

Bought a new phone.

Celebrated an anniversary with my laptop.

Danced for a festival, an exhibit and an intermission.

Went to Divisoria and ran for my life.

Went home late.

Went home the next day.

Spent my tuition fee for some personal stuff.

Made a song for that person.

Became a Multiply fanatic.

Been considered as the most secretive teenage girl in the whole W415 and W409.

I lied.

I cried.

Broke someone's heart.

Woke up with a broken heart and swollen eyes.

Kicked some asses off.

Overheard other's conversation.

Made my miserable by going home drunk.

Been scolded by a classmate.

Read other's personal messages.

Asked a very stupid question.

Cried over an urn.

Been to a relationship.

I screamed.

I cursed.

Went to a park alone.

Some of these, for others, maybe very shallow and usual. But for me, those were some of the great acts that I've done for the past year.

I don't usually go to places alone. I prefer to be with a friend. But since I learned that it is much better to be alone, I loved the feeling of forgetting the world and just think of myself.

2010 taught me not to trust other people (or even close friends) that easy. I am now aware of their habit that they will stab me in the back and leave AS IF WE DON'T LIVE UNDER ONE ROOF. Yeah, it happened to me this year.

Very close friend of mine. Since 1st year college. She became my very constant companion and happened to be one of my closest friends, but one single turn made my treatment as cold as ice. And time taught me not to trust her ANYMORE.

To be frank, as a judged person, I already killed her a thousand times in my mind. And the more see her, the more my hand wants to slap her face. But I must stand by my word that the sweetest revenge that I can show to a hypocrite is to stay sweet and calm after everything she has told everyone else in my back.

This year also pushed me to:

Curse a person.

Exerted so much effort to be kind and jolly.

Smiled though I don't really mean it.

Wished for other's grievances and sufferings.

Made a note that says, "DON'T TOUCH THIS OR ELSE YOU'LL DIE"

Planned to assassinate someone when he gets the hell out of the university.

Made the meanest blog ever.

Played inside jokes with a friend.

Revealed other's hypocrisy.

Made someone feel the most hated person in the whole wide world.

Tripped over some personal things and threw it.

Looked furiously.

Made life miserable for a day.

OH YES! You can say whatever you want to say, but if you were in my position, I bet you will the same things that I did to her. TO THEM. She has a bunch of friends of the same kind.

I have been judged as a person this year. I sat in a freaking chair and almost cried some matters. Remember, ALMOST. I accept things that easy. Maybe I am the easiest person to deal with judgments. But with those, I created my own world. I learned how to ignore even the most important people in my life just to get rid of those words and lines. It made me feel a bit of a nonsensical, useless and imbecile individual. Feeling that I've never felt in my 18 years of existence.

This year taught me how to bond with myself. Thought of some possible ways to entertain myself and be happy. This taught me to be an independent person, who already knew how to eat alone in the middle of a thousand of students, walk in the midst of a busy place, laugh at my own mistakes and stupidity. Knew how to boost my own morale.

You may think that this year also taught me to be crazy, insane and maybe some kind of an autistic child. Think twice buddy. 2010 made me realize that their some people in my life that does not deserve a bit of my TRUST, LOVE, FAITH, HOPE and even my own style of FRIENDSHIP. It also slapped on my face that even people who are still with you in the present time, doesn't mean that they will stay with you forever. They have to go and they will be REPLACED by better ones who deserves you and everything that you can give. Friendship does not really count or matter on how many years you've been together. They can still leak some of your hidden secrets and made you feel and look as if you're the dirtiest person alive.

I accept criticism. I really do. But if I feel that those were just meant to make another story and scene, I would definitely love to throw my gladiator shoes to a person's face and make him EAT IT.

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My 2010 is made up judgment, hate, frustrations, broken dreams, false hopes and illusive scenarios. But I will still live with love, high hopes, fulfilled goals and faith. With these, I know I can make it through whatever.

I have done so much for the past year. Now, I am ready to face another year and smile on my face. More open forums to face and more hypocrites to befriend. This is not revenge, this is just a manner of being fair.

2011. In 3 days, we welcome you with lights, noise and smoke. I think it will be so nice to meet you and just like 2010, let's make history. :)

The TRUTHS behind ME

I just had a little chit-chat with a close friend. WELL, super duper mega to the extreme close na naman kami and discussed some unusual things over some matters that bothers us both. And it's great to know that we had the same opinions and we really jived in. Parang when I say an opinion, she agrees with a wagas tango and wagas YES! TAMUUUUH. :) And I miss that person for that. ;)

Well, it's about some people in our lives that really piss our asses off and it sucks. EWAN KO BA! May I ask you one thing, HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO US?

HOW CAN YOU DO THESE TO ME!? (plural na siya! PLURAL FORM)

Wala akong matandaan na may ginawa ako sayo na karima-rimarim. Siguro nga, may mga banat ako na di katanggap-tanggap ng human ears pero alam mo yun?

ARE THOSE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO CURSE ME BEHIND, EXAGGERATE YOUR ANGER AND PLAN FOR MY NOTHINGNESS?


OMG! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE DONE SUCH? Sayang, parang kapatid na ang turing ko sayo, parang isa na sa mga malalapit na kaibigan pero nakakapanibago ng isip kapag naalala ko kung ano yung mga nalaman ko! Nakakaiyak, at nakakainis ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

If something will change after this night, would you mind to ask me WHAT'S WRONG? I dunno. You've always been this great person in the eyes OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS and I have concluded that in the past, I AM ONE OF THEM, BUT NOW, I DO NOT KNOW!

Kung backstabbing pala yung gusto mo, edi GO! I'll give it to you in ANY WAY THAT YOU WANT. Sayo palang pala, nakabulatlat na yung likod ko sa sobrang pag-stab mo sa likod ko. I never imagined na may makakasama ako na sobrang mang-bulatlat ng buhay ng iba.

I may stand in front of everybody else, and be considered as one of those PUBLIC FIGURES, pero I STILL HAVE MY PRIVATE LIFE. I still consider my cellphone as a personal belonging and I don't think I gave you the permission to interfere with my relationship with other people. Don't let my patience reach its maximum level or else, you'll hear everything that you've never heard for your whole entire life.

I believe, that it is much better to type all of your thoughts, mabasa man nila, hindi niya malalaman! KASI DI NIYA ALAM NA ALAM KO NA!

:)